Royai Advice
by CreativeNameHere
Summary: My first Royai. Got this idea from another fanfic on dA. Go look it up; When Boredom Strikes. Do not own FMA.


Colonel Roy Mustang had a habit of playing a game every few weeks. He called it the Let's Scare Hawkeye Game. For reasons unknown to Roy, Hawkeye always seemed to win… though she never knew she was actually participating. Today was no different.

Roy opened his office door and poked his head in quietly. He was in luck; Hawkeye was at his desk leaned over a stack of paperwork. Her jacket draped over the back of a couch, she was all alone; and with her back to him, no less. He smirked mischievously and slid silently in the door. He tiptoed up behind her, preparing to grab her shoulders and shout something along the lines of "BOO!" Hawkeye, on the other hand, had a different scare in mind.

In a flash she was facing him, pistol already whipped out from the holster on her hip. Her expert aim had landed the barrel straight at the spot between his eyes. Roy threw his arms up in surprise and surrender. Riza's narrowed eyes widened for a brief moment.

"Good morning, Colonel Mustang." She said without missing a beat, shoving her gun back into the belt and saluting. Roy put his arms down. "At ease, Lieutenant." He said in a slightly wary/irritated voice.

Hawkeye put her arm down but did not relax. "Sir, if I may make a suggestion?" Roy waved at her vaguely to continue as he sat at his desk. "Thank you. I would recommend that you tell me it's you walking through the door next time. Because frankly, sir, I almost shot you in the forehead." Roy looked up to see a smile tugging at the corner of his Lieutenant's mouth.

At this Roy had to crack a tiny smile, despite 'almost being shot in the forehead'. "I'll be sure to remember that, Hawkeye." He said, sitting at his desk. She nodded and got back to sorting the paperwork. A few minutes of silence passed as she moved from his desk to the couch and continued sorting. All the while Roy was watching her out of the corner of his dark eyes and thinking 'Damn it. There has to be a way to get her…'

For a while now Roy had been trying to find something that would cause Hawkeye to break through her unobtrusive and composed mask. He had tried sneaking up on her (obvious failure), putting a snake in her desk drawer (she had calmly identified it as non-venomous and let it free outside), and showing her a giant spider captured in the southern region (she commented on how it was nice, but shouldn't he be trying to make a dent in all that paperwork?). He was clueless on what to do next.

Then an intriguing thought darted into his head. 'What if I got her to tell me something that scares her? She has to be afraid of something.' Doubtful it would work, but not having any better ideas; he got up and went to sit next to her.

"Hey, Hawkeye," Roy began, poking her side to get her attention. Hawkeye jumped like she had been bitten and let out an uncharacteristically high-pitched "EEP!" Roy looked at her with astonishment. Why didn't he think of this sooner? "You're not ticklish, are you Lieutenant?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

Hawkeye lifted her chin up slightly. "No, I'm not. And I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't startle me like that, sir." She said. Roy snorted. "Yeah right. You don't get startled." He said. Then, hesitating for only a moment, he attacked her with quick fingers.

To his utter amazement, Hawkeye actually started to laugh. "Colonel!" she gasped between spasms of hilarity, "Please, ha ha! Stop it! Ha ha ha! We have- ha ha- paperwork- ha ha ha ha- to finish!" Roy grinned. "Paperwork-shmaperwork!" he said, continuing his onslaught of tickling.

Finally he quit, feeling immensely satisfied at his accomplishment. Hawkeye was still giggling and trying to get her breath back. She couldn't even scowl at him properly. "Don't EVER do that again, Flame." She said, poking him this time.

Roy copied Hawkeye almost exactly, only his "EEP," came out as more of a choked off "ACK," "Oh?" she asked, already savoring the sweet flavor of payback. "Is someone else ticklish?" Roy made the colossal mistake of stammering when he said "No!" in a defensive tone.

Hawkeye's cold and calculating eyes were automatically trained on him, taking in his every weakness. She noted the side-protecting-movement; the worried crease between his eyebrows; the stubborn set of his lips. Taking the first opportunity she saw, she made for the sliver of uncovered side of rib. Roy jerked his hand up, just as she predicted, and she quickly veered off course to his now exposed side.

Her fingers worked lightly like busy spiders, weaving a web of hysterical laughter. "Lieutenant, please! Ha ha ha, stop! This is- ha ha- so- ha- childish!" Riza's eyes widened, and she began to tickle harder. "Oh, so NOW it's childish?" she said, laughing with him.

Regardless of Roy's strangled begging, pleading, and apologizing, Riza was relentless. Revenge wasn't something she took lightly. At one point or another, Roy had tried to escape her rapid fingers by falling to the floor. Hawkeye didn't miss a beat; she went with him. Now they were sprawled on the ground: Roy defenseless on his back with Riza straddling him.

Finally Roy managed to seize one of Riza's wrists. With the tickling assault now cut in half, he was able to get the other wrist in his other hand. In one fluid motion, he twisted to the side and flipped her over to where he was on top. Slightly breathless, he said "That's enough, Lieutenant."

Seeing his gun-slinging bodyguard trapped so absolutely was a tad disconcerting and more than a little bit funny. He started to laugh, louder and deeper than he had when he had been tickle-attacked. "What's so funny, Colonel?" she asked, smiling up at him.

Roy was caught off guard by how striking she looked pinned underneath him. Her face was flushed, her eyes bright, and her golden hair an attractive mess (for it had come undone in their playful struggle). All of this was emphasized brilliantly by a sliver of sunlight that seemed to fall just on her. On top of that, she wore a dazzling smile he didn't get to see directed at him very often.

Her face, still stunning in the lone beam of light, changed. Back again was that sensible, collected mask she always wore. Her eyes held a suspicious gleam. "Colonel," she said, voice questioning and a little uncomfortable, "Why are you looking at me like that?"

He could almost hear Hughes's voice in his ears: "Oh, get a wife!" maybe now was a good time to start. "Because you're so beautiful…" he murmured, bending his head down to touch his lips to hers. At first she was unresponsive; for once completely and utterly startled at the turn the conversation had taken. But soon she fell into the kiss, closing her amber eyes as it grew in intensity.

After a few minutes, or what seemed like only seconds to them, Riza tugged gently at her wrists. They were still shackled to the floor by Roy's hands, and at first he resisted her subtle pulling. Her tug was more forceful this time. Roy reluctantly let go of her wrists and pulled away, sighing and crouching back to let her slide out from under him.

Riza didn't move. She looked up at him expectantly. "You stopped." She stated the obvious, business-like again. Roy was perplexed. "Didn't you want me to?" "No." "But you tried to pull-" Riza put a slim finger to his mouth and sat up. "I never said I wanted you to stop, Roy." She had never been this familiar with her Colonel. His first name felt good on her lips. "I just wanted my arms free."

Taking her finger from his lips, she wound her hand around his neck and pulled him to her. Roy leaned forward to where he was kneeling on his knees and wrapped his arms around her waist. Riza responded by wrapping hers around his neck. She knotted her fingers into his ebony hair, and Roy held her tighter.

This kiss was more insistent than the other had been. The first had been cautious; soft, timid, and unsure. Now this one was fierce; more passionate, severe, and almost angry. Riza didn't seem to mind the variations; at this point she wouldn't have really minded anything. Except…

Roy unlocked his arms from around her and slid off his uniform jacket, keeping in perfect sync with her lips. He undid the first three buttons of his white button-down shirt, but one of Riza's small hands stopped him from undoing the rest. That was probably the best idea; wouldn't want anyone to think this was anything more than an innocent make-out session between protector and protect-ee, right? After another minute of enthusiastic kissing, Roy pulled away again. Riza looked at him questioningly.

"Riza," he said, enjoying her first name as much as she enjoyed his, "I lo-" And then a blonde officer with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth popped his head in the door. "Hey Colonel, I have that… what are you and Hawkeye doing on the floor?" he adjusted his sentence as his eyes fell on them, completely baffled. Riza blushed uncharacteristically, ducking her head into Roy's shoulder.

Roy, on the contrary, didn't seem embarrassed in the least. Actually, he looked pretty pissed off. He scowled at the blonde officer. "Baking cookies; what's it look like? Beat it, Havoc." Havoc shrugged with a smirk. "As my commanding officer wishes," he said, turning on his heel. They heard his hurried footsteps down the hall and him yelling "Hey, Hughes! You have GOT to see this!"

Riza began to slide out from under him, but Roy held her gently in place. "I'm not ashamed; are you?" he whispered in her ear. She shivered and took a deep breath. "No, Roy, I'm not. But maybe we should get off the floor…"

Which was an excellent suggestion.

Xxxxxxxx

When Havoc had finally convinced Hughes to come and look at what he portrayed as "a scandalous piece of office romance", they didn't catch the provocative pose Havoc had described.

They instead found Mustang and Hawkeye snuggled up on one of the couches. Mustang was sitting comfortably on the couch, Hawkeye nested in his arms. He had one arm around her waist, and the other absently playing with her loose golden hair (he had opted out of her putting it back in a clip; he liked it better down). Hawkeye leaned relaxed into his torso, a stack of paperwork on her knees.

Roy's head rested on Hawkeye's shoulder, where he seemed to be studying the paperwork along with her. He glanced up at them when they entered with an almost bored expression; as if such obvious contact were normal for the two. Hawkeye didn't even look up. Taking on her brisk business voice again, she said in a perfect monotone "Whatever you need, gentlemen, I'm sure it can wait a few more minutes. The Colonel and I are just finishing up some paperwork."

Hughes met Mustang's gaze with a questioning raise of his eyebrows. Mustang shrugged, but his head went slightly back and fourth in a don't-say-anything we'll-talk-later way. Havoc eyed the couple suspiciously, oblivious to his higher-ups' silent exchange. "That wasn't paperwork I saw a few seconds ago!" Hughes gave a small nod in Mustang's direction. He then rolled his eyes and grabbed Havoc's ear, dragging him to the door.

"Yes, it's rather unusual to see them so openly affectionate, but if this is what you call 'nearly having sex on the office floor'… we need to have a talk." He said, pushing Havoc out the door. "But sir!" Havoc tried to argue, "I swear they were…" Hughes attention snapped behind them when he swore he heard Mustang say in a low voice, "Now, where were we?" Hughes glanced back through the slowly closing door.

Paperwork scattered and forgotten, Riza had turned away from the door to face Roy. He had kept his arms around her, but now they were on her back and looked to be grasping her much tighter than the loose hold he had a minute ago. Hughes couldn't see what exactly was going on, but based on the body language and what he thought he had heard, he could make a pretty accurate guess.

He smiled. Maybe Mustang was taking his advice after all.


End file.
